Can good manners improve your self confidence?

I read a comment from one of my Facebook friends earlier today about common courtesies that go a long way. For the younger amongst you, who might not be familiar with the phrase, the common courtesies are 'Please', 'Thank You' and 'Excuse me'.

These were amongst the first words that I would have been taught, but it seems so rare nowdays. I was therefore amazed recently when a friend reminded her two year old to say thankyou when he was given a drink, and then throughout the visit with them, he continued to say 'Thank you' whenever he was given anything else - so cute! But he now seems to be an exception to the current practice (particularly amongst the 2 plus age group) of merely grunting, or at the most muttering the shortened form 'Thanks', which would not have been acceptable to my Mother! Whenever leaving the house for a social event, my sister and I were always sent off with the advice 'Have a good time and mind your P's and Q's'. I wasn't sure what the P or Q stood for (maybe P for Please and Q for 'Than-Q?) but the message was clear. And other people's mother's were given the power to report back to mine if manners were overlooked - and that would have put me into my Mum's bad books, which was to be avoided at all costs!

As a shy child, at least these socially acceptable words gave me something to say to people that I didn't know at a first meeting - 'Thank you for inviting me' was at least a start! You were never completely lost for words when supported by your manners. And there were so many times we were expected to say 'Please', such as 'Please may I leave the table' when we had finished eating, 'Please can I go out with my friends', 'Please will you drive me to...', 'Please can I stay up late tonight to watch... on TV'. These expectations of basic good manners seem to be as extinct as the dinosaurs amongst the children I meet nowadays.

As an adult I now use eye contact and a smile to support my P's and Q's. These go such a long way in making both me and the other person feel more confident in our communication. Try it and see!